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MARCH 2003 - THE LESSONS THAT SURROUND US As I look back over last month's article that I wrote, I am exhausted just remembering how stressful and busy it was. My days and nights were filled with concern and phone calls, and my mind was spinning as I tried to keep myself from being overwhelmed from all the urgent circumstances that found their way to my home. The TV show "Survivor" could have come to my house to film and many may have voted me as the winner of the million dollars! (Don't I wish!) :-) Well, this month has not slowed down, though the urgency of the crisis has taken on a little calmer pace. Our trials have been more on the level of car problems, a to-do list that is way too long, and children being lazy and selfish. With war on the horizon (within possible hours or days at the time of my writing), I am wondering what uncertainties the days ahead will bring. The coolest thing, though, is that I have peace and joy in my heart! I have experienced in an amazing way God's Presence again sustaining me, in the past, present and I know the future. The theme this month for my family has been taking the life experiences and examples of others and using the opportunity to learn from them. We have been using everyday things to teach our children values, truths, gratefulness and compassion. We didn't do much book work these last few weeks, but we did lots of talking about all the circumstances, situations and relationships we were involved in. I realized that this began back when my children were younger. We would see children riding their bikes or skateboards without helmets and I would always comment, "Where are their parents and why aren't they wearing helmets? That is SO dangerous!" My children grew up not even questioning whether helmets were a choice for them because I made it clear from my observations of others that it was a bad choice. The same when I saw young children walking around malls, the streets or other places without adult supervision. My comments and observations made an impression on my children and without having to say it directly to them, they knew how I felt. As they have grown a little older, we have conversations about clothes styles, hair colors, body piercings and music every time we see or hear things that open up the opportunity. Dating (or NOT dating), sex and drugs are subjects we can talk about without having to experience them ourselves. We have enough friends, relatives, acquaintances and strangers to use for examples, good and bad, and we can use the consequences that these people experience to teach great lessons. There are a couple of shows on TV that we love to watch as a family (not the two youngest children) because they bring up topics that spur great conversation. "7th Heaven" and "Everwood" are two Monday night shows that we use to teach our two older children to use some critical thinking skills. Even when the shows make what we consider poor choices, we can use that to challenge our kids to think about and evaluate and come up with right and wrong for their lives. This last month when issues such as domestic violence, suicide and divorce were brought up (because of a family we are close to), we had much opportunity to talk about the effects these have on people and how lack of communication, selfishness, cruelty and source of significance play a big part in family dynamics. We also talked about how the choices you make quite often impact many more people than just yourself and in a far greater way than you planned. This not only can happen in a negative way, but we also experienced this truth in such a positive way. We have had car problems this last month and we got a high recommendation to a certain car mechanic. My husband, Darrin, took our 11 yr old son, Jeff, with him to see if this guy could diagnose our car problem. There was an immediate Christian bond and both my husband and son were really drawn to the friendliness and integrity of this mechanic. When the mechanic said it would take a few days to fix the car, Darrin sighed and mentioned that that would make it difficult for him to get to and from work, which is a long commute each day. Without blinking and barely knowing my husband, the mechanic tosses Darrin the keys to his own car and tells him he can use it until our car is fixed! When my husband and Jeff got home with this "loaner" car (it was nice!), Jeff's face was glowing and he could hardly stop grinning as he recounted how this man had, not knowing them, given them his own car, with a "really cool stereo"! Jeff was able to connect the dots on his own that this godly man didn't just talk the talk of showing love to others but he lived it in practical ways. (This is something that doesn't happen often in the secular world but between people sharing a love for Christ there can be an immediate bond as close as any blood relative.) My husband and I have also realized that our children are watching all we say and do and if what we say is not the same as what we do, they take mental (if not verbal) note of it. To expect certain behaviors out of them, we need to keep ourselves in check. What behavior and character are we modeling to them? Too many times, I am convicted of the same things I am accusing them of doing or not doing. One area that we feel a great desire to teach our children, so they don't have to experience it themselves hopefully, is how to handle finances. We are reaping the consequences for poor money choices (and some just plain choices) and we want them to learn early on that the choices they make can have long-term consequences. The same goes with choosing a spouse to marry. Too many of our children's friends have parents who are divorced. My children are already praying for their future spouses and deciding what qualities are important in a spouse, long before they are even ready to leave our home. They don't have to experience everything first hand. They can learn from the experiences and examples of those who have gone before them. Today, we read about St. Patrick, an English missionary who had a love for Christ that he wanted to share with the people of Ireland. It was a great story but what impacted us most was that we could learn from the example of this missionary by reading about him on the Internet and then try to make it personal and apply it to our own lives. We decided that we can go through life ignoring the lessons that surround us, making poor choices and having to experience it all first hand or we can learn and benefit from the experiences of others. "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 6:7 |
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 Teach your children essential tools for life. Heidi's husband Nick is the author of this educational workbook for children. |
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