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NOVERMBER
2003 - REAL LIFE HAPPENS………ALWAYS!
Well,
once again, real life happened and took me by surprise. I am starting
today, November 1st, with about 30 or more things not done that I would
have liked to have finished last month. The first of which is WRITE
THIS ARTICLE! OK, it is not that I didn’t know I needed to do it.
I have a very nice “to-do” list that I try to keep on my counter,
when it isn’t buried under mounds of bills, grocery store flyers,
receipts, kids papers, husband paper’s, and misc. sticky notes.
My 2 desk areas are a whole other story of mountains of papers, only
half-processed! The one thing I have going for me this morning is ATTITUDE!
I am not sure why, but I am actually in a great mood and though feeling
a little hurried and under pressure, I am not feeling particularly stressed
out.
As homeschoolers,
our days seem to have a life of their own. I have a beautiful schedule
printed out for each child and one for myself, all laminated and color
coordinated. I also have a large schedule made with each time slot and
subject on different 3x5 cards and hung on a large pocket chart for
all to see. We “know” what the schedule we are aiming for
is. I also have a color coded chore chart for each child (laminated,
of course) and they even have their own colored marker and clip board.
So, why do I find myself at the end of each day (week, month…)
focusing more on what we “didn’t” get accomplished than
what we “did”? How does that affect my attitude towards not
only my children and husband but also on my attitude towards myself?
I am always evaluating and somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I keep
thinking “If I can just come up with the “perfect” solution,
everything will be calm and wonderful and I will get everything done.”
Pretty funny, huh, but I have a feeling I am not the only one who thinks
this way! So here are my thoughts, as I reevaluate my month. (Which
by the way, I am thinking that once a month reevaluating is GREAT for
growing and understanding and wisdom to be applied to the next month!)
As
I look over my (color coordinated, of course!) refrigerator calendar
for last month, I notice it is pretty well written on and not just the
weekends. If home schooling is supposed to be happening M-F, what are
all those other things written in that took up our time?? I see my daughter’s
work schedule, a baby shower, a hair appt., an orthodontist appt. (an
all day appt. since we have to drive almost 2 hours each way –
once a month), two doctor appointments (actually one was scheduled and
the other unscheduled when kids got sick), a mom’s homeschool tea
(for encouragement!), baby-sitting for 3 different families (one I got
paid for, one for a mom battling potential cancer – long story
– and another who really needed a night out with her husband).
Heidi (my sister) came and spent a day here, along with a meeting for
Jeff, a meeting for husband, weekly play practice (Christmas drama so
only for another 6 weeks) for 3 in my family, Awanas, youth group and
our home fellowship/bible study group. That doesn’t include the
2 all day conferences on Saturdays (one on marriage in Seattle –
GREAT! The other was for hubby and daughter for Awanas). We also went
to Heidi’s Pumpkin party, dinner out with friends, dinner here
with friends, 4 kids friends who spent the night, worming the dog, burning
the firepile outside, battling a leaky roof when the torrential rains
hit, and 106 degree fever with a 6 year old. I also spent hours and
hours on the Internet reading about multiple myeloma, Atkins, the Feingold
diet and gluten and dairy allergies. (Those topics will probably end
up in future articles I write!)
Along
with what is on the calendar, I do remember trying to fit in writing
bills, grocery shopping, cooking, phone scheduling and appointment making,
a little cleaning, and a LOT of laundry. We made cookies (lots of them!)
for a very sick friend and her family. We also have new neighbors who
were over half a dozen times to use the phone and lament that it was
taking forever to get their own phone hooked up.
I
remember watching Oprah and Dr. Phil a few times this month when it
was particularly interesting. The best was probably the Dr. Phil show
that chronicled the miseries of 3 over-stressed out moms. It made my
life look particularly heavenly! I wouldn’t have traded my life
with any of them, especially the mom with a one year old boy and triplet
2 year old boys! She was also a neonatal nurse! I did realize one thing
that I was (kind of) doing that some of them could learn and that is
saying no more often and not having your kids in every sport or activity.
Kids need down time also.
Looking
back at my month, I am now able to see how much we DID get accomplished!
What a productive month we had! We were able to squeeze in time for
schoolwork, never as much as I hope, but enough that they are learning
academically. We did a lot of reading books together as a family and
even watched a few movies together from the library. We managed to make
it to multitudes of appointments and look and feel better because of
them. We had a wonderful blend of having fun and times of encouragement
and of serving others. We conquered a few emergencies and kept more
of them at bay. And probably the sweetest of all, I have memories of
laughter and tears, arguments and apologies, all shared with my husband,
children and friends. We had RELATIONSHIP this month, which no amount
of scheduling or color coordinating or laminating can replace! More
important than what was scheduled in, was the time I was able to spend
one on one with my husband, talking with our children about issues affecting
them and comforting a friend who is facing dying and leaving 4 young
children behind.
I
came across this tidbit which I now have prominently displayed so I
can read it every day: “The key is attitude, organization, perseverance,
and attitude again. Relax. Be vigilant. Have fun. Enjoy the kids. Impart
all that you know. Work and play together. Love and live. Pray. Grow
together and be thankful. You can do it, maybe not perfectly, but sufficient
to bring success.” I now feel ready to go into this new month with
a sense of peace, even though it could be one of the most difficult
months I will have faced for awhile. When I die, it won’t be my
to-do list or money or material possessions that I look back on and
wish I had spent more time perfecting. It will be relationships and
those things which have eternal value. Having said this, I am off to
a fun shopping and bonding time with my daughter at Costco and then
dinner with a friend who I see every other month to catch up on life!
“To
everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
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