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DECEMBER 2002 - THE VOUCHER SYSTEM Here it is the middle of December and I am contemplating my year gone by as I write our yearly Christmas letter. We have had a lot of changes with the biggest one being a move to a new home out in the middle of the woods. Many adjustments and exciting new friends and activities, but I realized that one thing that I wish had changed hasn't. That would be my getting so frustrated with how to discipline the kids without them and me getting so defensive with each other. I am also tired of having to come up with (spur of the moment) some form of discipline and making so many decisions and choices all the time. Calgon…….take me away! I began
praying for God to PLEASE help me figure out what to do in this area
as I have battles everyday with my four children over behavior that
I am not happy with: disrespect, teasing or being mean to a sibling,
lack of manners, not doing chores, not focused to do schoolwork…..the
list goes on. As I was pulling out boxes still unpacked (I really don't
think many will EVER be unpacked at this rate), I came across a white
notebook that I hadn't seen for at least 3 years. The title says: The
Voucher System - A Complete Behavior Management Program. Hmmmm……….could
this be an answer to my prayer? We have now been using it again for 3 weeks and the difference in not just my four children but in my own attitude and my husband's (calm and unemotional when disciplining) has made it worth writing this article about and offering hope to any of you that are feeling frustrated in the discipline area and teaching your children responsibility. The basics in a nutshell are that the kids receive points for things like good behavior, doing extra chores, control over habits and any other positive behavior you want to reinforce. (My 14 yr old daughter gets paid for babysitting her brothers in points.) Points are deducted for misbehavior, being inattentive, failure to follow through, etc.… At the end of the week, points are added and subtracted and with the amount of points they have (hopefully in the positive), they can choose vouchers which are privileges such as movie rentals, sweet treats, time with a friend, etc. The vouchers can be anything that motivates your child. My three boys love to take a bath in our big bathtub and one of the vouchers we have is 100 points = one hour in mom's big bathtub with lots of their toys to play with. Some of our other vouchers are for an hour of Playstation or computer, tv time, a can of pop, alone time with mom or dad, no schoolwork day (we homeschool so we have that option), crafts or science experiment time, out for ice cream or French fries, a sleep-over, or a money amount to spend at the store on a toy or clothes (they have to save up for some of the bigger things but especially great for older children). We have had a week when two of our boys ended up being in the minus and at that point, they have to earn points again and wait until the next week to be able to use any of their vouchers. Each week we go over everything that earned points and everything that caused points to be deducted. It is great to watch their faces as they recall each action and choice they made during the week that was either good or not so good. We limit how much some of the vouchers can be used (only 1 can of pop a week) and when some of them can be used (no candy before certain events) and they need to give us warning on when some can be used (movie rental or something that costs money or means a drive in the car). The voucher system benefits both parent and child and instead of the emotional outbursts (by child and/or adult), often just a calm "that will be 25 points off" is all it takes. I would love to write all the details of the voucher system but someone else deserves the credit and has a website that I would encourage you to check out. (www.happy-kids.com) Included in the notebook are lots of pages of encouragement, ideas, and suggestions, and point sheets and vouchers to copy. This works great for children with special needs, with most all ages and is quite flexible. Whether you buy the product or just read all the great parenting ideas and make up your own system, it is well worth your time. The goal is to enable your child to become more aware of unacceptable behavior and empower him to make more responsible behavioral choices. It is a win-win situation. The kids still have their "moments" and so does mom, but they are fewer and farther between and we are smiling and enjoying some real peace this Christmas season. A quick note: As a Christian, spiritual and character issues are a priority and the Bible is our source of authority. I say that because there are many things I read (books, websites, etc..) that may have things that I don't agree with on a spiritual level but may have great practical advice. I try to take what I agree with and disregard the rest, not "throwing the baby out with the bath water" so to speak. May you find joy in parenting! "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 |
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 Teach your children essential tools for life. Heidi's husband Nick is the author of this educational workbook for children. |
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