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JANUARY 2003 - FALLING IN LOVE...AGAIN I used to be considered a happy-go-lucky person who typically looked on the bright side of life. All challenges were met with a positive attitude. After Sabrina's birth, my personality changed. I basically hibernated for the first few months, only visiting with those people who cared to contact me. I just felt like being alone - caring for my daughter and being alone, that was enough for me. Well, when that happened a very special person got left behind. My son, Isaac. This poor young soul had been left in the dust. Of course I said I was keeping him included and loved, but looking back, I could have done a lot better. My actions certainly did not match my words. Well, we cannot change the past. I have been praying for a new beginning. I feel the change, I'm wanting to be with him and love him and cherish his sweetness again. So here we begin a new year and a new life - with two beautiful children. Here is the story... I fell in love with my newborn baby daughter instantly, the moment she was born. She is tiny, and needful. I feed her, I care for her, I love her tremendously. This seems so natural, so easy. I've done this before yet it's all new again. Then... My four year old. What can I say? There are days when all I see is this loud, obnoxious kid demanding attention in ways he knows are inappropriate. I've been hit in the head (no, not by Isaac) many times in the past several weeks with the thought of how terrible I've been to him. He used to be the recipient of all my love and affection. There was snuggly story time, fun game time, helping mom make cookies and showing mom how high he could pump on the swing outside. Now there's none of that. With a small baby to nurse and care for, boxes still to unpack from the move, and household chores on top of that there seems to be little time for the "fun" stuff. Of course, I know Isaac's been obnoxious because that was the only way to get my attention. I'd probably do the same if I were him! He was telling me in his own way that he needs me and needs my love too. One really bad day he actually put his thoughts and feelings into words when he told my husband that mommy is mean and angry all the time. I overheard this conversation and this was the biggest blow. I got it. It took a little while, but I got it. I love my son and I want him to know just how special he is to me. So here I am, finding that I need to fall in love with Isaac all over again. He is not tiny and needful like Sabrina. He is big, but has a very tender heart. I need to look past his poor behavior and know that it will change with all the love I shower upon him. Isaac and I have created new opportunities to spend time together. First he helped me make a weekly chore and activity chart for the whole family. Because he helped, he knows what is supposed to happen each day and is excited to help or participate. He enjoys helping me sweep and mop and load the dishwasher. He also loves our newly added family game game night. And second, I read stories to him at bedtime where we get to snuggle close while my husband Trevor takes care of Sabrina. I will be working on building up my milk supply so Trevor will be able to feed Sabrina during Isaac's bedtime routine ensuring that Isaac's time with me will not be interrupted. One of the most important things I've done during this parenting change is that I have gone back to my favorite parenting book, "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood - Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years," and I've been rereading several chapters. This has helped me to relax, discipline the easy way, and actually enjoy my day with Isaac. Though it's not an easy process, I know I will be happy with my parenting again and I know Isaac will think of me as a happy and fun person again. I cannot tell you had sad it makes me to think of how unhappy my son was to be with me. I know my attitude really changed after Sabrina's birth and the move to our new home, but just as it changed before, it will change again - for the better!!

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