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JULY 2003 I hate scales. And not for the reasons you may think (like lack of progress). My scale actually broke a while ago. Tried new batteries and still it wouldn't turn on. We've had if for awhile, so I guess it isn't entirely crazy for it to die. Well, it took me a couple of weeks to buy another one and when I finally got it and weighed myself I was down maybe a pound or two from the last time I'd weighed. Score! Only problem is that the scale was acting weird and inconsistent. I thought I may need to bring it back for a different model but before I did that I'd try a newer battery and see if that helped. It didn't - in fact I "gained" like 5 pounds! OK, now I'm just mad. Did I lose weight? Gain weight? or what? I was just going to have to start fresh with this "new" weight, no matter how much it annoyed me. So for the last few weeks I'll hop on the scale and see myself about 3-4 pounds above my previous weight and wonder if I truly gained or if this is just a new scale adjustment. It is funny how much it bothers me not to know the truth. This morning I got on the scale and noticed I'd dropped those 3-4 pounds (finally), so I guess I'm back where I was before my old scale broke. Still not sure what reality is, but at this point I don't care anymore. So instead of focusing on numbers I've been trying to focus on exercising. Lately I've really been enjoying my time ALONE at the gym. I really like lifting weights and my muscles are getting toner and there might even be some visible definition in there. At least I can feel the difference and I know I am making progress. I tolerate the treadmill and enjoy it more when I'm totally distracted reading or watching one of the 3 TV's. I am also trying to psyche myself into exercising. more often with a number of different techniques. 1) Don't think about it, just change your clothes and drive to the gym. No time to decide not to go if you don't allow yourself the option. 2) Think about it as a reward - something to actually look forward to: being alone (meaning no kids!), a time when I can read a book for 1/2 an hour (on the treadmill) - there's no way I can do that at home unless the kids are in bed and by that time I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open to read. 3) Remember the end result, making progress toward a slimmer, healthier body. Many times I focus on the energy and hard work it takes to work out, but I'm slowly trying to focus on the positive results, especially now that I'm starting to see them. Good luck to all of you who are struggling with your weight and your health. You aren't alone. Every month you can read what my sister Andee and myself are doing to stay focused, little tidbits of information that may be helpful in your endeavors too.

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