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NOVEMBER
2002 I felt a lot of pressure to not overeat although I was never set a good example. My father's idea of portions were "how much could you eat?" - it was more a challenge as to how much we could stuff ourselves, versus what did we actually need. One of my memories involves McDonalds; my Dad could eat 3 Big Macs and I could eat 2. I was not discouraged. As for ice cream, my Dad would buy the 1/2 gallon containers, take a knife and eat 1/2 and split the other half up between my mother and I. That's a lot of ice cream - but I never realized it until I was an adult and saw how much thin people ate (like about a quarter of what I normally ate). Amazingly enough I really wasn't fat as a teen. Of course I thought I was at the time. I played basketball for years and threw things (discus, javelin, shot-put) in track and field which did keep me in shape. As most athletes know, the more you work out the hungrier you are and the more you eat (and the more you should eat to help give you fuel). My problems happened "off season" - I always accumulated more weight because I wasn't exercising and my eating remained the same. Things got bad after college when I got married. Funny because my husband is small and thin (he objects to me describing him this way...in his head he thinks he is tall and rippling) and in very good shape. Watching him is where I first witnessed a person eating "normal" quantities. I was still hungry though, just looking at all he wasn't eating! I think once we had steady employment we enjoyed buying good food (read: fattening). My husband gained maybe 10 pounds (which to him was devastating) and I gained 7x more. Through the years I've been on so many diets including those binge buys in the middle of the night watching the infommercial for the "whatever" system. And just like my parents, I'd try it for awhile, have setbacks, get discouraged and fall off it. My best success has been with SlimFast. I lost 50 pounds or so a few years back, then slowly started gaining again and then I got pregnant with kiddo number 1. Gained 40 pounds with him and eventually lost it all and then SlimFasted it again and lost another 20 pounds to get me to my lowest weight in a long time. I gained 20 of it back by the time I started pregnancy #2 (oddly enough I was the same starting weight for both pregnancies). With this pregnancy I gained 50 pounds. I kept telling myself it didn't matter because I'd just lose it again after the baby was born anyways, so who cared if I had to lose 40 or 50? Well, my child is nearly 6 months old now and I haven't been able to lose squat. I think I was hoping it would just fall off somehow. Yeah, right. So now I've decided to put my desire to lose weight to the "public" test...thus the broadcast over my website. My thought is that if I become public about losing weight, then I will hold myself accountable...more than if I was just doing it by myself. I plan to be totally honest with you the audience about my ups and downs (hopefully more of those) and I'll share with you what techniques are working and what seems to get me off track. Maybe you will be inspired to finally do something about your weight too. We can support each other. I think everyone, regardless of their weight, may recognize themselves in my words - perhaps the emotional reasons we eat or do anything to excess (drink, smoke, drugs, sex, exercise, you name it). I can already tell you that I was inspired by the Today Show's Al Roker who had his stomach stapled and lost over 100 pounds this year. His story came out and I really could relate to his emotional ups and downs. Also I am reading Bob Greene's latest book called "Get with the program!" He is one of Oprah's little buddies. I like it so far but have only read about 30 pages. As for
where I am today: I've lost a couple pounds recently and am the lightest
I've been since I had my baby. I still have 30 pounds to lose before
I hit my pre-pregnancy weight and another 70 after that to get my high
school weight back (yes, that is my goal) - we'll just have to see where
it takes me.
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Heidi
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Heidi Hoke
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