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DECEMBER 2002 I asked my 3 year old the other day if he remembered getting a particular gift for his 2nd birthday and he said "NOOOO" very emphatically. After a few more exchanges it was pretty clear he couldn't recall life before his brother existed (6 months ago). I had the vision of someday him looking at pictures of me and me asking him "Do you remember when Mommy was fat?" and him responding "NOOOO". That's what I'm hoping for. He's at the age now where he doesn't know what fat means. He knows some people are bigger than others, but to him practically everyone is bigger. I know at some point he may be embarrassed by me and that just breaks my heart. I'm sure as he grows older and "wiser" he'll find enough reasons to be disillusioned with him mommy - I don't want my weight to be one of them. In addition to thinking about my sons, I'm really annoyed with my wardrobe. I feel very frumpy. How do you dress cool with a moo-moo? OK, just kidding - I'm not that huge, but still. Wide is never in. So all of this thought really inspired me to do something - I decided to go back on the SlimFast diet. I'm happy to report that in about 2 weeks I've lost 8 pounds, and I'm down about 10 from last month. I make my own shakes though usually, and don't drink the canned ones except on the go or if I'm desperate. I always add a banana and some soy powder and ice and then I have this huge shake. Aside from being freezing cold, it tastes pretty darn good. I can't complain about the weight loss either. This method has worked for me 2 other times so I know I will drop the pounds if I just keep at it. The surprising thing to me though has been how good I feel after losing just 10 pounds. I guess when you have to lose 100, 10 doesn't seem like a lot. I thought I'd have to lose about 30 to have any effect...but not true! I already have clothes that are getting looser, I feel more mobile like I can move around faster and I can kinda see a difference in my looks. Just a little so far, but enough to keep me encouraged. I'm also trying desperately NOT to think about what I will be like in 50/75/100 pounds from now. It seems so far away that it makes it hard to appreciate the little steps and to stay enthused and focused I need to recognize and appreciate each and every pound that decides to leave my body.

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Heidi's husband Nick wrote this workbook about Character Development. If you want to help instill values, virtues and character in your child then check out this out!

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