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AUGUST
2003 - SUMMER
AND OVEREXTENDING
Ahh! no schedules, sleeping in, lots of picnics in the back yard. Our
family has really needed a rest from the busy school life we have. It
has really helped them to not be scheduled and to just have time to
play and be. I resisted the temptations to sign them up for every camp
or class we heard about or read about. But even with that they have
attended a short art camp (3 days), and are signed up for golf camp
one day a week. We continue with piano lessons for two of my three children
which includes a music theory class. And that's it!!! I am always amazed
with how many activities children list that they are in AT THE SAME
TIME. For example, soccer, t-ball, dance, horse back riding, swimming,
scouts, art classes, and music! How does everyone do it? Summer at least
should be left to be spontaneous. And with school work it seems terrible
to schedule so many after school activities. I personally do not think
we need to overschedule our children so that families are always eating
in the car or at different times at home and never are at home to have
free time. It is difficult sometimes to resist when their friends are
on every team imaginable and they all sound like good experiences. My
generation, as kids, didn't have really anything that kids were involved
in. There were some team sports, but not even close to the amount these
days. And I think we did OK. I have family that have 4 kids and each
one is on a different soccer team so that calendars are colored coded
so they know which kid goes to which field. The weekends everyone scatters.
I just wonder what is the fun in that and what are we teaching our kids?
To overschedule and overextend ourselves? That life lessons are only
learned from people outside of the family? What about togetherness?
Anyway, I can go on for a long time about that subject, but I just wonder
if its something we should look at as a generation of parents and reevaluate.
I have been impressed with how my children are doing so far this summer.
Usually, I dread summer a little because all the extra time together
means extra fighting and a much messier house. And although I found
myself last night wishing that I no longer had to remind anyone about
1) flushing the toilet! 2) wearing shoes NOT just socks outside, 3)
turning out the lights when you leave a room, 4) NOT eating anywhere
but the kitchen/dining area and 5) not using your body as a napkin!
I am thankful that they are getting along so well so far. Although I
feel bad about constantly reminding them about these little insignificant
things, I get very fed up with repeating the rules so many times and
not having them remember. I must focus on when they do remember and
go crazy with compliments so they understand how helpful it is for me
if they pay attention a little to the world around them and helping
out.
I have been pleased that we were able to have a GREAT 8 hour car ride
to Idaho for our first summer vacation at a cabin with relatives. We
only stopped ONCE and they did not argue, even though they were sitting
in a row, next to each other. Amazing! We really praised them for that
and they did just as well coming back. My son even commented after his
praise, "Maybe we can do that on the next trip?" "What's
that?", I asked. He said, "Not complain and mind our own business!"
"Great idea!" I said. Maybe he was listening one of those
times I was lecturing on and on and on. I made sure to mention within
their earshots, how great they did on the trip.
I am also pleased that we have started up our dates again with our children.
I had a great time shopping with my older daughter alone and she really
looked forward to it. I get to have my son on a garden tour (his choice!)
and my other daughter a few mornings alone coming up soon. If you haven't
scheduled dates with your children, where they get to pick what to do
and they have you all to themselves, its a wonderful thing to connect
again and get uninterrupted time. My son gets to go on a trip alone
with his Dad this year and my eldest went last year to Michigan. Our
other daughter gets her daddy alone vacation next year. They really
look forward to those. This year while the boys go off, myself and my
two daughters are going to have a "Girls roadtrip" and do
as they say "Girl things."
We also went on a wonderful hike near Mt. Rainier which was well worth
it. The views were spectacular for only 1 1/2 miles of hiking, although
steep. It was good to show the kids their reward for their hard work.
We have a tradition now of having a team cheer at the top or at the
end of the trail to provide that team/family spirit.
So, overall let summer be lazy! Don't overextend just because everyone
else is! Although I am guilty of getting too wrapped up in yard work,
I vow I will play ball with my children today. As it is, I am so excited
that I actually took the initiative and taught them all the ride bikes
without training wheels ( some got it easier than others!) And I can
say finally that I've done my little bit of parenting. They asked me
"Why do I have to learn how to ride a bike?" which I replied,
"because its a good thing to know". Of course they were so
excited when they saw that they could do it! Those beaming smiles and
"I'm doing it!" as I ran along the bike, made it the best
summer ever.
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