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DECEMBER 2002 - LOVE AND LOGIC I recently have been taking a Love and Logic class through my children's elementary school. And although I have been familiar with positive discipline for years, of course, I have learned a few more things that I thought I might pass along. What was interesting about this curriculum, is that not only did it emphasize providing choices for your children so that they can learn from deciding and from mistakes, but it really emphasized that as parents we need to be empathetic when they make a bad choice, one that has consequences for them. They felt that by being empathetic, (i.e., "how sad for you", or "I bet that doesn't feel very good", or "I'm so sorry you made a choice that didn't work out") that the children can no longer be mad at us for what happened but instead turn inward and think to themselves "I'm going to do things differently next time". By not lecturing we let the consequence do the teaching, which as we know is much more meaningful than the 10 minute lecture we would give. The other main item I picked up from the first session of the class, was that as we decide if the problem is really ours or theirs, that we hope that they fail. Why would we do that?? you ask. In failing the kids get to experience that consequence now when its not so painful nor so important than when they are older. They get a lot of experience with decisions and consequences so that they can grow. Wow! That really changed my stress - no longer worrying who is going to screw up and slow me down next, or push my buttons. Hoping they will fail so that it will be a little easier next time. For example, hope they choose to ignore bedtime rules of being quiet so they can stay up too late and be really tired in the morning. Then maybe they'll go to bed a little easier. Or go without their coat and realize how cold it can be in the winter, thereby figuring out a way to remember it. I realized that I control their environment much too much, tell them what to do and when rather than giving them the chance to decide. Always making sure they have everything so they become totally dependent upon me instead of themselves. The Love and Logic curriculum also teaches how to word your choices, to provide some manipulation by us. For example, "Will you be warm enough outside today with a sweatshirt or your coat?" "Is that enough lunch for you to make it until dinner, five hours from now?" And then empower the children by showing the parents that many problems can be solved by the children by learning how to let them do it. If they have a problem, stating "Wow, that sounds like a problem. What are you going to do about it?" If no suggestions come up, "Would you like to know how others have tried?" Then simply, "Let me know how it works out, good luck". Teaching them to think on their own. These are just a few things building on their idea of using choices and calm words when working things out. I'm sure there's a lot more that others have gotten out of this curriculum, so check out the book if you're interested.

Join the MYSTICOOL MOMS newsletter list Enter your name and email address: Name: Email:   Subscribe      Unsubscribe Visit Heidi's Handmade Jewelry Site Teach your children essential tools for life. Heidi's husband Nick is the author of this educational workbook for children. Just a memory of Emma when she was a littler person. She would sing the holiday songs and when she sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" she would sing, "Good tidings we bring to you and your ... cake!" instead of you and your kin. Still can't sing that song without wanting to sing that line!

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Heidi's husband Nick wrote this workbook about Character Development. If you want to help instill values, virtues and character in your child then check out this out!

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